How to Deal with Mom Guilt When You’re Working Too Much
Hey there, wonderful moms in our amazing community! Today, let’s dive deep into a topic that resonates with most of us – the infamous “mom guilt.” We know that being a working mother can sometimes feel like you’re stretched in a thousand directions, trying to balance the demands of your job and your precious family. But guess what? You’re not alone in this journey, and it’s perfectly okay to have moments of doubt. In this blog post, we’ll explore what mom guilt is, and we’ll provide you with some valuable tips on how to deal with it while keeping your sanity intact. So, grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s get started!
Understanding Mom Guilt
First things first, what is mom guilt? According to an article from Psychology Today, “mom guilt” is “the pervasive belief that we are falling short—that we’re not doing enough or we’re not doing it well enough—as mothers.” In essence, it’s that nagging feeling that somehow, you’re not measuring up to an impossible standard. But let me be the one to tell you that you are doing an awesome job, mommas. And you should not feel guilty. But of course, that is easier said than done. Here are a few tips on how to help you get over your mom guilt feelings.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first step in conquering mom guilt is to acknowledge it. Recognize that it’s a common emotion experienced by many working moms, and it’s perfectly okay to feel this way from time to time. Remember, you’re only human, and it’s natural to have moments of self-doubt.
New Insight: Embrace Vulnerability
Think of your mom guilt as a sign of your deep love and commitment to your family. It’s a reflection of the high standards you set for yourself as a mother. Being vulnerable and open about your feelings with your fellow mom friends can create a strong support network. Share your experiences, and you’ll likely find that others have been through similar struggles.
Talk to Someone Who Understands
Sometimes, all it takes to ease the burden of mom guilt is talking it out with someone who understands. Whether it’s your best friend, a family member, or even a therapist, having a safe space to express your feelings can be incredibly therapeutic. They can provide valuable perspectives and advice that you might not have considered on your own.
New Insight: Join Support Groups
In today’s digital age, there are countless online support groups and communities for working moms. Joining one can be a great way to find like-minded individuals who are navigating the same challenges. It’s amazing how sharing your experiences with others can make you feel less isolated and more empowered.
Take a Break
When mom guilt starts to weigh you down, it’s crucial to give yourself permission to take a break. Step away from work, household chores, and the never-ending to-do list for a few moments. Focus on something you enjoy, whether it’s a quick walk, a good book, or just a few minutes of deep breathing.
New Insight: The Power of “Me Time”
Consider scheduling regular “me time” into your week. This can be an hour dedicated solely to self-care, where you indulge in activities that rejuvenate your spirit. Remember, by taking care of yourself, you’re ultimately better equipped to take care of your family and your career.
Set Realistic Expectations
Lastly, it’s essential to set realistic expectations for yourself. Understand that you can’t be a superhero, effortlessly managing every aspect of your life. It’s perfectly okay to make mistakes, and in fact, it’s often in those moments of imperfection that we learn the most.
New Insight: Celebrate Small Wins
Rather than focusing solely on your perceived failures, take time to celebrate your victories, no matter how small they may seem. Did you manage to make a healthy dinner for your family this week? Did you complete a challenging project at work? Acknowledge these accomplishments, and remember that every step forward is a success.
How to Help Feel Less Guilty
Now, let’s delve deeper into some practical strategies to help you feel less guilty as a working mom. Remember, these tips are not about eliminating guilt entirely but rather managing it in a healthy way.
Quality over Quantity
Shift your focus from the quantity of time spent with your children to the quality of that time. It’s not about the number of hours you’re physically present; it’s about being fully engaged and present when you are together. Put away your phone, turn off work notifications, and make those moments count.
Prioritize Self-Care
As counterintuitive as it may sound, prioritizing self-care is one of the best gifts you can give your children. When you take care of your physical and mental well-being, you’re better equipped to be a patient, loving, and present parent. So, don’t feel guilty about setting aside time for yourself—it’s an investment in your family’s happiness.If you are looking for more tips and tricks on self-care, check out my blog post 10 Frugal Self-Care Tips and Reasons Why Self-Care is So Important.
Delegate and Share Responsibilities
Don’t hesitate to share responsibilities with your partner, if you have one, or delegate tasks to other family members. This way, you can ensure that you have time for both work and quality family moments. Remember, it takes a village to raise a child, and sharing the load is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your resourcefulness.
Create a Family Calendar
Use a shared calendar to plan and prioritize family time. Schedule outings, game nights, or movie nights so that your kids know they have dedicated moments with you.
Set Boundaries
Establish clear boundaries between work and family time. When you’re with your kids, make it known that you’re fully present for them. Teach them that certain times are sacred, and interruptions are only for emergencies.
Technology-Free Zones
Designate certain areas in your home as technology-free zones. This means no screens during meal times or in the bedroom. Encourage open conversations and connections without the distractions of devices.
Communication and Proper Planning
Effective communication and planning can be your best allies in juggling work and family life.
Family Meetings
Hold regular family meetings where everyone gets a say in planning family activities. This not only ensures that everyone’s interests are considered but also teaches your children the importance of teamwork and compromise.
Use Technology Wisely
Leverage technology to stay organized. Share calendars, to-do lists, and reminders with your family members. This way, everyone is on the same page regarding schedules and commitments.
Teach Time Management
As your kids grow, involve them in time management. Teach them to prioritize tasks, set goals, and manage their own schedules. This not only eases your burden but also imparts valuable life skills.
Dear moms, working or not, we are all superheroes in our unique ways. The path of motherhood is filled with challenges, and mom guilt is just one of them. However, by focusing on quality over quantity, prioritizing self-care, and effectively managing your time, you can create a fulfilling and harmonious life for yourself and your children. Communication, proper planning, and setting clear boundaries are your allies in this journey. Embrace each day with positivity and the belief that you’re doing an amazing job as a working mom. Your love and dedication are your superpowers, and they will always shine through.
I can relate to this so much! I’ve had my fair share of mom guilt. I do my best to balance work and life, but I also make sure my kids know that if I’m unable to hang out as much as they want, it’s not because I don’t love them.
I can see my sister suffering from this when she goes back to work. She’s due to have the baby next April but, as a teacher, she’ll have to go back in September when the baby is only 5-6 months old. It’ll be very hard on her.
You know we have dad guilt also. We want to be with our kids but must work.
Thank you for commenting and sharing your thoughts. I completely understand this!
Nnnniiiiccceeeeee…..I love the idea of setting clear boundaries and healthy expectations. They guide us on how we can be better mamas without feeling bad for our humanness. Kisses and hugs to you, mama!
I’m not a mom, but I can totally relate to this. I did a terrible job of managing my work/home life, and I missed a lot of things with the kids. I was in a particularly tough spot because I was keeping the lights on, but it still felt horrible.
As a self-employed parent, I feel this so much! I have focused on quality over quantity and also worked on scheduling time away from the computer that’s “family time”. I block off the time from when my kids get home from school until their bedtime as time to be with them, play games, work on homework, eat dinner, etc.
I can totally relate to this. I really need to work more on balancing my work/home life. Thanks for sharing this with us
Thanks for sharing so many incredible and useful tips about mom’s guilt it is quite difficult for a first-time mom to deal with, on top of so many overwhelming things. I think your post will help a lot of moms.
It’s not easy being all things to all people. Our kids come first but we need to make time for ourselves too!
Oh dear, this is so appropriate for me right now. I work so many long hours from home and can’t find as much time as I would like to spend with the kids. I can definitely say I’m fully engaged when we spend time together which is something. I also need to work on having some me time.
I have mom guilt too, because I’m always too busy. I try to prioritize quality over quantity. Plus I really need more free time, and it makes me more stressed. I’ll try to use your tips and I hope I can fix this problem.
I felt this for a bit when my kids were really small but since I have learned how to balance out work and spending time with the family! Great info.
This is great information for all moms. I love the idea of encouraging kids to be a part of time management. Teaching kids to prioritize tasks, set goals, and manage their own schedules is a helpful tip.
I definitely struggle with this…it can be so hard to find the balance! I loved reading this and found it very helpful for my own “mom guilt”.
Not a mom yet, but I have seen this thing in many working moms, your list is great and really helpful for working moms out there.
Quality time with family and kids is very important. These are great things to do to help with that. Thank you for sharing!